I had a lot of issues with self-esteem when I was growing up. I struggled with my weight, experimenting with anorexia and bulimia at times. I would lose weight, but it was never enough, and I would end up giving up. I guess those are two things that it’s good to give up on.

The summer after I turned 15, I decided to start working out regularly. I didn’t dedicate my life to it, but I started walking four or five days a week, using my mom’s stair stepper, and doing sit-ups. I kept it up for a long time, and I lost about 25 pounds. By then I was skinny as a rail, ribs sticking out, but I started getting really muscular thighs from all of the exercising. I quit working out because I didn’t want to have to buy bigger shorts to accommodate them.

The self-esteem issues were pretty pervasive up until a few years ago. Don’t get me wrong- I still have lots of things that I would like to change about myself. I weigh more now than I ever have, and I don’t like to go out of the house without enough makeup to cover up my recurring breakouts and enhance my features. But there are things that I love about my appearance, such as the fact that everyone thinks I’m about 10 years younger than I really am. And at any rate, the way I look is not the be-all and end-all of my existence.

The Next Generation

Pumpkin is only in first grade, and she already has issues with her appearance. She has the most beautiful hair I’ve ever seen (took it after Hubby), and yet she says she wishes it were like mine. That’s sweet and all, and I would trade with her in a heartbeat. But I worry about her having more hangups as she gets older.

I try to do everything I can to build her self-esteem, but it’s not easy when I’ve always had issues myself. She’s got a little belly on her (not nearly as much of one as I had at her age though), due to her extremely healthy appetite. And I find myself struggling to find the right way to tell her that she needs to eat healthier foods without making her self-conscious. And I must admit that although I want her to be healthy, part of the issue is that I don’t want her to go through the teasing and criticism I did.

The Dove Campaign for Real Beauty

I recently got the privilege of an inside look at Dove’s latest efforts in their Campaign for Real Beauty. I had heard of it and seen the commercials and thought it sounded great, but hadn’t gotten around to checking it out on the web. After taking a look, I truly believe that it’s something that every mother with a daughter needs to see.

Their latest project is the Dove Reality Diaries, a web series of confessionals from teen girls about how self-esteem has affected their lives. It reveals just how universal the issue is. The site is geared toward teens and preteens, but I took a lot away from it too. I saw a lot of things that reminded me of myself when I was younger while watching.

But why are things that way? A big part of the picture is how the media portrays women. The video above shows an example of what takes place from the time that a model shows up for a photo shoot until her photo hits the billboard. Things like this portray an unrealistic picture of what girls and women should aspire to, and when we miss the mark, we often feel inadequate. And in the case of kids, they often pick on other kids because of their own self-esteem issues, making them feel even worse and starting a pattern for a lifetime of problems.

The media needs to start recognizing that beauty does not mean that we all have to be super-skinny, blond, and perfectly symmetrical. The world is beautiful because everybody doesn’t look the same. Dove is doing a wonderful thing by promoting these types of ideas to the young girls of today. They have resources for both mothers and daughters on their site, so go visit them yourself and introduce your daughters to the videos and interactive activities.