A Work at Home Mom’s Blog

My concentration is still virtually nonexistent. I’m struggling to get things done. But I’ve found a couple of things that I’m hoping will help, without requiring me to go on prescription medication.

A kind reader dropped me a line and mentioned that she had had similar problems, and that taking St. John’s Wort daily helped her. I’ve heard good things about it before, but my brain has been so muddled lately that I didn’t stand a chance of thinking about it myself. So as soon as I get the money, I’m going to give it a try. Thanks for mentioning it Julie!

I’ve also found a web application that I’m giving a whirl in hopes that it will help me use my time more wisely. It’s called 88 Miles, and it’s kind of like an online time clock for freelancers and small business people. I don’t get paid by the hour, but I thought it would be helpful to know just how many hours out of the 24 a day that it seems like I’m in front of this computer are actually spent working. There’s a free trial, so I figured I had nothing to lose.

I started with it yesterday, punching in when I started working, and out when I did something else online, talked to the family, or took a break. It was quite an eye opener. I found that when I did concentrate on what I was doing, it took a reasonable amount of time to get things done. It was just staying on task that was the problem.

Right now I’m working on short articles, which are coming easier than longer projects. I’m anxious to figure my time on a nice long report so that I can compare. I think this is really going to help.

If you are a freelancer who works by the hour, or you are having trouble getting things done on time like me, I highly recommend this program. It’s very easy to use, and the free trial works just fine for one person. You can stay with the free version as long as you like, but you can only record up to 40 hours of time per month with it. The paid version for one user is only $5 per month, so if you like it, springing for it certainly won’t break the bank. And there are also plans for businesses, with timekeeping for up to 20 staff members.

I’m staying with the free version for now due to budget concerns, but I plan to upgrade soon. When I do, I want to keep track of the time I spend doing other stuff online as well.

So there’s what I’ve come up with to help myself so far. I’m still quite open to suggestions, so feel free to drop me a comment or contact me through my contact page. This inability to concentrate stuff is frustrating as hell, but I’m beginning to think maybe I can beat it.

Sometimes I just can’t help feeling like I’m somehow behind everyone else, especially my siblings. Both of them have recently built houses (my sister’s being about 10,000 square feet), and are doing quite well for themselves. And here I am, finally becoming a homeowner, but barely scraping by in the process.

While they’re comparing home entertainment systems and considering Caribbean cruises, I’m wondering where the money to pay the electric bill is going to come from. When I get to thinking about it, it really gets me down.

I know, I should be thankful for what I have. And I am. And I honestly know that I’m not worthless just because they have more money than me. I have a great family, I’ve turned something I love to do into a career (although it’s not going great right now), and I have a roof over my head. I really should stop comparing myself to them.

Hubby’s grandfather (also known as Paw) is not doing very well. He has cancer, and won’t accept treatment for it. In a way I can’t blame him for it, because it seems like cancer treatments often do more harm than good. They certainly did with my dad.

I don’t know how much longer Paw will be around. He’s becoming senile, making strange requests at all hours of the night and getting people mixed up with each other. I hate seeing someone get like that. If only it were as easy as fixing a piece of hardware- just pop in some more computer memory and all is well. But the human brain just isn’t like that.

He’s asked to have his bed moved to the same spot where his wife was when she passed on. Everyone’s trying to be prepared for the worst, because it looks like it may be coming.

We’re really low on funds right now. There are a bunch of bills that urgently need to be paid, but we have no money to pay them. I’ve cut corners where I could, but there’s just nothing left to cut right now.

I put our Netflix subscription on hold for a while until we get everything sorted out (guess I won’t need to buy home theater seating just yet ). I like having movies to watch, but it’s not a necessity. We haven’t been sending them back very quickly, so we haven’t been getting a lot of them anyway. When we do get our subscription started back, I’m going to a cheaper plan and trying to send them back as soon as we watch them. Might as well get our money’s worth, right?

I’ll be glad when we can quit cutting corners just to get by. I try to be somewhat frugal anyway, but it’s less fun when doing it out of necessity.

I’m still stuck on the same writing assignment that I was stuck on 3 or 4 days ago. That one needed to be done a week ago, and I’ve got another one I need to get done ASAP. I also have a project I need to get done by Monday, but I don’t know if I will make it or not.

I’ve definitely got to talk to the doctor about this when I go in next week. I don’t like the idea of going on meds, but if they will help, I guess I’m willing to try. I can’t go on not being able to concentrate. If I don’t start getting work done sooner, I’m afraid I will start losing clients. And all of the clients I’m working for now are really awesome, so it would upset me greatly to lose them. Never mind the fact that looking for new clients takes a lot of time, and I don’t get paid for that time.

The only thing I’m having any success with at all is very small assignments, like 150 words or less. And sometimes I can’t even get through those in one sitting. It’s like a bunch of screws have popped loose in my head or something. Is it showing in my writing? Feel free to comment and let me know.

This house desperately needs to be replumbed. It has those awful copper pipes, and they’re in poor repair. It wouldn’t hurt to have all new fixtures either- shower head, kitchen and bathroom faucets, toilet, the works.

When you just barely turn on the water in the kitchen, it makes a horrible noise. It kind of sounds like a jackhammer. And we’ve got a mystery leak coming from the bathtub that we can’t quite figure out. It only leaks every once in a while, so maybe things will be okay until we can investigate further.

At least we did get the shower going. Hubby’s cousin saw to that. When he took the paneling off of the wall outside the bathroom, we knew instantly what the problem was: The pipe was completely unhooked! I haven’t a clue why, but it’s par for the course. From everything I’ve seen, the previous owners of this house weren’t the brightest crayons in the box.

It won’t be cheap, but hopefully once Hubby starts his new job we can start saving up to redo it all. If we don’t find something that we think needs attention before that, that is.

Do you ever have days when you’re just not “with it?” I do. In fact, I’ve been having them for several weeks now.

I’ve had trouble concentrating since Hubby got sick and through our whole housing crisis, but things have gotten better on that front. But my lack of concentration has gotten worse. Sometimes I can’t even finish a short article without taking an extended break. And in case you haven’t noticed, I’ve even fallen off the NaBloPoMo wagon by not doing daily blog posts.

At times I’ve wondered if I’m getting tired of writing. I’ve pondered changing careers, perhaps going into TV repair or designing custom boxes. But after some thought, I realized that’s not the problem.

My lack of concentration has spread to other areas too. It seems that no matter what I’m doing, my mind wanders to something else. I’ve got a doctor’s appointment next week, so I’m going to talk to her about it then.

I hope we get it all straightened out. I was so looking forward to taking my writing to the next level, maybe publishing an ebook and getting some print credentials. But if I can’t even write a short web article, it’s not going to happen.

Overall I’m pretty happy with the layout of my kitchen. It’s not huge, but you can get around in it without bumping into stuff every way you turn. Still, I plan to do a lot with it when we have the money.

I’ve got a used refrigerator to put in it, if I can ever get Hubby to bring it in from the garage. The one that’s in there works, but it’s torn all to pieces inside. And it just doesn’t look very good either.

The oven burns stuff on the bottom if you don’t turn it over, which means I can’t bake much in it. I’ve even tried turning it down to a lower temperature than recommended, but it just takes longer to cook and still burns stuff. Oh well, I’m used to crappy ovens.

We also need a new dishwasher. I had high hopes for the one that came with the place, but it doesn’t look salvageable. So a new one is way up there on my wish list.

Maybe one day we’ll have the money to really do it up right. All new appliances, cabinets, maybe even a nice wine refrigerator. It probably won’t happen any time soon, but I’ll keep on dreaming until it does.

I just couldn’t resist posting a picture of some of my beautiful miniature roses. This photo doesn’t do them justice at all, but I never claimed to be the world’s greatest photographer.

These things are growing on both sides of the house, and there are even some right next to the road at the edge of our property. They have to be wild, because no one would have planted them in some of the places we’re finding them. But they are truly gorgeous. I can’t help but smile every time I look at them.

We got a thunderstorm last night, and when I was hanging clothes out this morning, I noticed that the rain had perked them up even more. So I couldn’t resist picking a few and bringing them in to my office, so I would have something nice to look at while I’m working today. I couldn’t find a vase, so I put them in a small pill bottle. Even without a fancy vase, they still make me smile.

I’ve got to attempt to weed around them as soon as I get my work caught up, and to get Pumpkin’s flowers in the ground. I might not be a green thumb, but this year I’m going to try to get something to grow.

I’m not really one to stick to the world’s healthiest diet, but I at least try to make good choices when it comes to microwave meals. If I’m going to go for something quick, I figure the least I can do is make it sensible. Go ahead, call me crazy, I don’t care.

Anyway, I usually pick up a few diet meals when I’m at the grocery store for when I’m dining alone. Most of them are adequate, but either don’t taste quite as good as the stuff that’s bad for you or don’t fill you up. But I recently tried some of Lean Cuisine’s microwave panini sandwiches, and was pleasantly surprised.

When I first saw them, I was puzzled as to why someone would want to buy something like that. After all, I can slap a sandwich together quickly on my own, and even grill it in just a few minutes. But I decided to try the Southwest-Style Chicken variety, and now I’m glad I did.

They come with a little round metallic thingy that you put on top of the empty box and place the open sandwich on top of to cook. I was rather skeptical as to how a grilled sandwich would turn out in the microwave, but it worked out quite nicely. It didn’t really brown the bread much, but it was nice and crispy. And the flavor was awesome! The chicken, cheese, tomatoes, onions and green peppers made a great combination.

I liked that one so well, I decided to try the Chicken Tuscan Panini. It has peppers, olives, and tomatoes with a margherita-style sauce on herbed bread. It was fantastic as well. Both varieties were surprisingly filling, although as great as they tasted, I must admit that I probably would have eaten two if I had them. Guess it’s a good thing I only bought one at a time.

If you’re looking for a nice, quick lunch, these are ideal. I’m looking forward to trying the other varieties, as I’m sure they will be awesome as well!