Sometimes I Feel Like a Loser
Sometimes I just can’t help feeling like I’m somehow behind everyone else, especially my siblings. Both of them have recently built houses (my sister’s being about 10,000 square feet), and are doing quite well for themselves. And here I am, finally becoming a homeowner, but barely scraping by in the process.
While they’re comparing home entertainment systems and considering Caribbean cruises, I’m wondering where the money to pay the electric bill is going to come from. When I get to thinking about it, it really gets me down.
I know, I should be thankful for what I have. And I am. And I honestly know that I’m not worthless just because they have more money than me. I have a great family, I’ve turned something I love to do into a career (although it’s not going great right now), and I have a roof over my head. I really should stop comparing myself to them.
I have similar circumstances. What has helped me is that we have chosen to make some sacrifices financially in order to have quality family life.
1. We home educate… so we gave up my wife working full-time. What our kids may not get in “things” they will receive with our time poured into them and a quality education.
2. I am in full-time Christian ministry which means that while I may not make nearly as much money as other people, the work that I do is investing in eternity (that isn’t to say that people can’t have that approach in any profession, but it is more evident in mine).
It all burns up in the end. So thank God what you have been given. Praise Him for the family you have and the fact you have more time to spend with them based on choices you have made.
Comment by Shane Vander Hart — June 28, 2008 @ 11:05 pm
Thanks for the words of encouragement Shane. Deep down, I know how lucky I am.
Comment by Kristy — June 28, 2008 @ 11:12 pm
I stumbled on your website today and seriously speaking we must be twins. Your entries especially about lacking concentration and seeing yourself trailing behind siblings financially, is my life’s story right now. Wow! it’s nice to know it’s normal. Thank you for sharing your daily life with us. I don’t know how to get out of this slump but I’m staying prayerful everyday that I will get some insight into my life for a brighter future. I need to supplement my hubby’s income and also have some money to spend with the kids for the summer. Every penny is going to pay bills right now -sucks! But ‘sis’ stay confident that this season will pass and there’s a better season for us ahead. God bless.
Comment by Anonymous — July 2, 2008 @ 10:37 pm
Hey Anonymous,
Sorry you’re having the same troubles as me, but I’m glad you found out you’re not alone. That’s one of the reasons I started blogging- to share my experiences with others in the same boat so they wouldn’t feel as alone as I did. As much as I felt like it, I knew I couldn’t be the only one in this big ole world who had the problems I had at the time.
I hope things do get better for us both. When I think about it, my sister was still struggling at my age. So there’s still hope. Thanks for reading, and hang in there “sis”!
Comment by Kristy — July 3, 2008 @ 7:06 am