Husbands Just Don’t Understand
As you probably know if you’re a regular reader, I have needed a new computer for a very long time. This one gets quirkier and less reliable every day. So I decided that if we got a decent tax refund this year, I was going to get one. If my computer dies, I can’t work, and if I can’t work, I can’t make any money.
Hubby has known this for months. He has also known that we desperately need to get caught up on the bills so we don’t have to worry so much, and buy some things we’ve needed for a long time but haven’t had the money to get. But when I got the taxes done, all he could think about was buying something he wants.
His argument? That I’m making something that I “want” top priority. As in my new computer. I’ve tried calmly explaining to him that I wouldn’t be so adamant about it if I didn’t need it for my livelihood. I’ve tried bringing up the fact that I bought him a 4-wheeler that he certainly didn’t need, not with my “share” of the tax money, but with money I worked my butt off for. And I’ve tried telling him to f*** off. But he’s still being a big baby over it.
Things always get hairy when we get our tax refund. Every year, it never fails, I want to put it toward things we need and maybe save some, and he wants to blow it. So far we’ve always divided it down the middle and used our halves as we saw fit. But if we do that this year, I’ll be buying a computer and using the rest of mine to pay some on the bills without making much progress. And he will waste his half. We can’t afford to do things that way.
It’s not like I want to use all of the money to go on one of those wild weekend getaways without him. I just want to be able to do my work without sitting around waiting on my computer to cooperate half the day, and without having to worry about losing the articles I’m working on (yes, that has happened a couple of times). I have every intention of making sure he has some money to spend after doing that and paying the bills. But he just wants to be a big baby about it.
Am I being unreasonable? I know a properly functioning computer is not too much to ask, especially when it’s what enables me to help pay the bills. And as far as the bills go, I think I should be able to get them caught up without any static. After all, I’m the one who has to juggle them constantly. He might earn the money to pay a good portion of them, but if I didn’t send it in, they wouldn’t get paid.
I hate being in charge of the finances. It’s a completely thankless job, and one that I’m not particularly good at, but I do my best.
Ugh, sorry you are going through this, it sounds so frustrating. My hubby can be a bit of a dreamer and he is always dreaming up ways to spend money, so I usually let him dream away and by the time we get the money, he has had fun “spending” it in his mind and more apt to agree for a sensible approach. Can you compromise with hubby and say you get a computer, pay off the bills and whatever is left and he can so whatever he wants, no questions asked? If there is nothing left over, then he just has to grow up and realize things gotta get paid before he can play. Good luck!!!
Comment by Christie — March 7, 2009 @ 11:31 pm
That’s kind of what I had in mind, Christie. But he knows as well as I do that there’s not going to be much left. I’m going to try my best to make sure he has a little money to play with, though. I could find good uses for every penny of it and then some, but I’m willing to let him have a little fun just to keep him happy. Just wish I could make him understand why we can’t fritter it all away.
Comment by Kristy — March 8, 2009 @ 11:24 pm
I have just the opposite problem. My husband is always after me to upgrade my computer! lol The one I have now to me, is fine. It is about 3 years old or so and does a good job but he is after me to update, upgrade and spend more money!
I don’t like changing machines. I know I will have to do it eventually, but I just shudder to think about it. I am glad to hear you got a new machine – sometimes they really are needed.
Comment by Terri Seymour — March 18, 2009 @ 3:43 pm
If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it, right Terri?
I strongly believe in that myself. But my old computer was getting ridiculously slow, and I figured I might as well get something that I know can handle my constant multitasking and not be obsolete next year.
Changing machines has been interesting to say the least- my old one is in the floor beside my computer desk right now, and I’ve been using it there to grab files as needed until I can work on a more permanent switchover. I could have it done in no time with a thumb drive, but I don’t have one and don’t want to get one until the Hubster gets over the whole computer thing, even though they’re so cheap.
Comment by Kristy — March 18, 2009 @ 4:31 pm