A Work at Home Mom’s Blog

When I went to the doctor about my depression and anxiety issues, she didn’t just write me a prescription and move on. She sat me down and had a long talk with me. She asked me what my symptoms were, if I had any friends, and stuff like that. She already knew that I worked from home, and one of the first things she suggested was for me to get out more.

She said she was concerned about agoraphobia – the fear of going out in public. But that’s not a problem for me. It’s true that I stay home most of the time now, but it’s not because I hate going out. It’s because gas is expensive, and because I only recently got a vehicle on the road that I don’t share with someone else. But I have no doubts that getting out of the house more often would be beneficial. We all need a change of scenery and some social interaction from time to time.

She suggested possibly getting a part-time job. I suppose that would help with the finances, which are another major source of anxiety, as well. But I just can’t see myself getting back into the workforce, taking a job in food service or retail or even insurance marketing. Nothing against any of those professions, but writing is more than just what I do. It’s a big part of who I am. I’m proud to call myself a writer, and taking a job doing something else seems too much like admitting that I’m a failure at it. True, I spend more time blocked and distracted than I do actually writing right now, but I just can’t bear the thoughts of being anything less than a full-fledged writer.

So the doctor had another idea: volunteering. And I like that idea. I’ve thought about doing it before, but the transportation issues were an obstacle. The problem now is that my car doesn’t do well on snow and ice, and we’ve been getting a lot of that around here. So I’ve been putting off looking for volunteer work until the weather is better. I found some volunteer opportunities that I could take part in online, but I don’t think something that would keep me in front of the computer more is what I need. So I guess I’ll just have to wait a while.

Doc will probably fuss at me when I go back for my recheck and tell her that I’m not volunteering yet. But I just don’t feel right asking for volunteer work and not knowing if I’ll be able to follow through with it. And I’m really not just trying to put it off. I fully intend to find something to do at least a few hours a week when the weather is no longer a concern.

Hi there. Remember me? I used to blog here. Haven’t been doing that so much lately, though.

The new year hasn’t been kind to me so far, and that’s why I haven’t been around. I could write a big, long post about it, but I don’t think I will. I’d rather just forget about it all, and bits and pieces will probably come out in future posts anyway. So I’ll try not to bore you to death with details here.

But in summary, I’ve been horribly ill, finally got on medication for depression and panic attacks, and had to contend with major plumbing problems all last week. I spent a lot of time when I didn’t feel like doing anything but lying in bed waiting around in various hardware stores, looking at fancy Whirlpool dishwashers and Toto toilets that I can’t afford while waiting on employees to help me. A few hundred dollars later, we finally got the water going again.

Things are finally somewhat back to normal, so maybe I’ll get something accomplished today. The jury’s still out on whether or not the medication (Prozac, to be specific) will help. I started it on New Year’s Day, so the two week mark is coming up, and that’s how long the doctor said it would take to kick in. I hope it does the trick.