It’s been another rough couple of weeks here. It’s all been a blur of unexpected expenses, houseguests, time without Internet access, and other unpleasant surprises. But most of all, it’s been a time filled with tears, angst and incoherence. Fortunately, it seems that I’m slowly getting back to normal (whatever that is).
After I spent a couple of days last week lying in bed, crying, and not doing much else, Hubby asked me if I was having a nervous breakdown. I just kind of shrugged my shoulders, because I’ve never been completely sure what that meant. But it sounded pretty feasible. He tried to get me to go to the doctor, but I refused. I’ve been going to monthly appointments, and that has put a big enough strain on the budget. The weather was bad and the roads were icy as well, so I convinced him that it was not necessary. It wasn’t like I was a danger to myself. So I spent the rest of the week in much the same state.
Yesterday and today I’ve been able to do more, and haven’t been constantly in tears. I got my Internet back this morning and started contacting clients, letting them know what was going on and hoping they would be understanding. (For the most part, they were very much so.) And in between that, I did some research on nervous breakdowns.
What I found was rather interesting. As much as you hear about nervous breakdowns, they are not an official diagnosis according to the medical community. According to Wikipedia, the closest official diagnosis to what most people call a nervous breakdown is a type of adjustment disorder. If you want to spare yourself some of the formal medical mumbo jumbo, however, I prefer this little snippet from Mayo Clinic. I’ve experienced every single symptom on that list, so I guess I qualify.
At any rate, most of the other stuff I’ve read links the idea of a nervous breakdown to depression and anxiety. And I’m already on medication for that (although it would appear that it’s not exactly doing its job). For now the plan is to just hang in there and hope that I don’t have any more serious episodes before I get back to the doctor. And that when I do go in for my next scheduled appointment, that she either gives me something that works or refers me to someone who will.
