A Work at Home Mom’s Blog

Hubby went to the chiropractor on Friday, and he was in serious pain for the rest of the day. We had planned to go up and spend the night at my mom’s house, and have a get-together with my brother and his family on Saturday. But since he was in such bad shape, I told him I would stay home with him that evening and Pumpkin and I would go up on Saturday morning.

He waffled back and forth over whether he was able to go, and finally decided he wasn’t. Then Pumpkin got home from school and was upset that we wouldn’t be going that night, and Hubby said it wouldn’t be right not to take her. That caused quite a ruckus, and I won’t go on and on about the details, but we grudgingly came to a compromise that he would come with us that evening.

Well, he was in pain all weekend. But he can’t say I didn’t offer to stay home and look after him, nor that I didn’t warn him that the ride up there wouldn’t be good for him. Still, it didn’t turn out all bad. Hubby, Pumpkin and I had some of Mom’s famous homemade chicken tenders for supper on Friday, and I provided delicious DiGiorno pizza and breadsticks courtesy of House Party for lunch on Saturday. Once he felt up to it, Hubby went for a walk in the woods and found a bunch of old glass bottles that Mom said he could take and keep, sell or whatever. And perhaps best of all, Pumpkin got to play with one of her favorite cousins for a good long while.

With my DiGiorno party kit, I got a very nice apron. I put it on when it came time to cook (protective clothing is something I definitely need when I step into the kitchen), and Mom asked if I could make her a pattern out of it. I told her I had no idea how to do that, but that I would let her have it when I was done cooking and she could use it or make patterns with it or whatever. I’ve already got one apron from my Oscar Meyer House Party, so I figured it wouldn’t hurt to let her keep that one if she wanted to.

By the time we got home Saturday evening, we were worn out. But we all had a good time. And hopefully Hubby learned a valuable lesson: Wifey always knows best!

On vacation in Hawaii? No, but I wish. Snorkeling in Australia? That would be nice too, but I’m not going there, either. Hunting for jobs in Philadelphia PA? Nope.

Give up? I’m finally going to see my mom after trying to all winter. Weather has prevented safe travel up there for most of the past few months, and then money troubles came into the picture. But I’ve scraped up enough for gas to get up there and back, after reserving enough to pay the mortgage and another bill. I don’t have enough to pay anything else until the tax refund gets here, so I might as well get up there, right?

Pumpkin is all excited about it. She misses her Mamaw so much! So I guess I’d better stop blogging and hit the road. Later!

I’m beyond drained right now. Every time I turn around, there’s something to attend to. We’re still in the process of finalizing our public assistance claims. Bill collectors are calling incessantly. Hubby has started going to the chiropractor. He had to file for unemployment to qualify for a certain type of assistance, and there are all those weekly certifications and job search things to attend to. And I’m the one who has to keep up with it all. If only my biggest worry was who to call for RV repair.

It’s not that Hubby isn’t willing to help. It’s that he’s not able. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this on my blog before, but he can’t read and has a lot of trouble understanding instructions and other things. So pretty much all of the non-physical work to keep the household going falls on my shoulders. And with my inability to concentrate and anxiety issues, I’m having a rough time of it.

If all of these problems would just magically vanish, I think I could support the family with no problem whatsoever. I’ve been the sole breadwinner on a couple of occasions in our years together, and it worked out just fine. But I don’t think I’ve ever had this much to contend with.

It’s all been very draining. I woke up this morning feeling like I hadn’t slept a wink, even though I actually got a decent night’s sleep for once. I dragged my feet all day, but managed to get online and seek out all of the expense receipts that were needed to process the claim. I was on the phone a lot too, trying to get various places to send needed information to various other places. By the time I was done with all that, I was ready to crash. And I did.

Hubby had a pretty decent day today, so he took it upon himself to take care of me. He brought me lunch at my computer desk, and supper in bed. And for once, he didn’t even complain because I was sleeping while everyone else was up.

I’ll have more stuff to attend to tomorrow, and I hope it doesn’t wear me down to the point I was worn down today. I’m hoping to take Pumpkin to see my mom this weekend, and I’d like to be able to enjoy my time there.

Anybody out there ever experienced the joys of having thrush? It’s like a yeast infection, only in your mouth. It’s pretty icky, and hella painful. Unfortunately, I’m dealing with it right now.

I woke up a couple of days ago with a sore throat, headache, and a ton of phlegm. I figured it was from spending too much time at my in-laws’ house the day before, because they all smoke like freight trains and I’m allergic to cigarette smoke. So I lay around most of the day, telling myself that I was going to put my foot down next time Hubby wanted me to go over there with him.

Then yesterday morning, I woke up with an even worse sore throat, and what felt like blisters on the roof of my mouth. Hubby took one look with a flashlight, and I could tell by his expression that it wasn’t pretty. He said I definitely needed to see the doctor, and that my throat was covered with blisters.

When I got up and tried to eat, I found that swallowing was extremely difficult. I tried taking some medicine – sinus pills, a couple different types of pain meds, even some all natural vitamins – but I could barely swallow them either, and one of the pills got lodged in my throat and wouldn’t budge for what seemed like an eternity. As soon as the office opened, I made an appointment.

The doctor first did a strep test, which came back negative. She then did a yeast culture, which would take 2-3 days to come back, and went ahead and gave me meds for both strep and thrush. She told me to start the thrush medicines first, and I did. Within hours, I saw an improvement. Hallelujah!

I’m thinking about just leaving the antibiotics be and continuing with the thrush treatment. After all, antibiotics can promote yeast growth, and that is what causes thrush. I believe that stress was what caused the whole mess in the first place, especially after reading the thrush article linked above. But whatever it was, I’ll be glad when it’s all an unpleasant memory.

I’ve heard many times in my life that exercise is good for stress. And I believe it’s true. Back when I was younger, and I exercised in a sensible manner, I felt better than I ever have in my life. But now, I just can’t seem to muster the energy to do it.

There’s no doubt that exercising would be a good thing for me. I could stand to lose a few dozen pounds for sure. I’ll probably end up with more stretch marks, because I didn’t do the whole cocoa butter stretch marks treatment thing when I was pregnant and gained so much weight. But it would be nice to drop a few jeans sizes, and to have some more energy.

But the main reason I need to try working out is to improve my mental health. I’ve got a ton of tension built up inside, and if exercise can help get rid of it, I should definitely give it a try. The other benefits would just be icing on the proverbial cake.

As you might have gathered by now, I’ve been extremely irritable lately. I got quite upset with Hubby earlier this evening, and I sort of lashed out at him. I think I had every right to be upset, but it really shouldn’t have been that big of a deal.

Anyway, I was quite standoffish with him until he went to bed. Within minutes of lying down, he was calling me back there, and asked me a question about our tentative plans for the weekend. And I lost it.

The teardrops started falling, and talk of our feelings for each other and how little we have in common and the possibility of separation ensued. It wasn’t pretty, but neither of us got violent or anything.

I lay down with him, cried some more (okay, a lot more), and we talked. We came to the conclusion that we love each other very much, and that we want one another to be happy, and that counseling might be a good idea. We’ll see how that pans out.

I love my husband more than I have ever loved anyone (with the exception of Pumpkin), and I believe that he feels the same about me. It hurt talking about all those things, but it was also good to let out some of those pent-up emotions. This whole lack of money thing has caused a lot more problems than just not being able to pay the bills, and I just hope that everything can be repaired and we can grow stronger when it’s all said and done.

since my last post. If you’ve been reading my blog on a regular or semi-regular basis, you know that’s quite unusual. But I’m still among the living.

Things have been pretty crappy lately, but at least we’re getting some of the assistance we’ve applied for (and a little from some kind friends and family members). But my brain has been quite muddled. Hubby is applying for disability, and we also applied for Work First, a program that helps people who are between jobs. They made him apply for unemployment, which we were surprised to find out that he might actually have a shot at getting, but he has to go job hunting every week to qualify. Now, I don’t know how that will affect his disability application, nor how they expect him to find a job when the doctor has written him out of work. But whatever.

As for me, I’ve been under an insane amount of stress. In addition to depression, terrible memory, and a general mind fog, it has given me a wicked bad case of thrush. Ick.

I still haven’t gotten around to filing our taxes yet, but I’ve got to pull myself together at least long enough to get through that. We should get a respectable refund, and that would help tide us over until things get better.

So that’s what’s been going on in a nutshell. I have a lot of emotional issues that I need to let out, but I just can’t seem to find the words. At least I have Hubby around to hold me and wipe away the tears, and Pumpkin to give me a reason to keep on keeping on.