A Work at Home Mom’s Blog

I didn’t get around to wishing everyone a Merry Christmas before the fact, so I’ll just say that I hope you had a good one. As for me, mine was alright. Nothing to write home about, but no disasters like the basement flood we had last Christmas, so that was a good thing.

I did have a bit of a meltdown on Christmas Eve. I have no idea why. For the first time in years, I was actually ready for Christmas. I didn’t have much capital to work with, but I managed to come up with gifts for everyone on my list. All the presents were wrapped and under the tree well in advance, with the exception of two that still haven’t been delivered (and won’t be until I can safely travel down the mountain). Yet I woke up extremely irritable on Christmas Eve morning, and things deteriorated throughout the day and into the night. I think Hubby was ready to check me into one of those inpatient rehab centers like the one where Demi Lovato is for “physical and emotional issues.”

My anxiety meds weren’t helping much, but I managed to keep from totally flipping out by keeping to myself and constantly reminding myself that Pumpkin deserved a nice, drama-free Christmas. The medication did help me get to sleep, which was a good thing. And when I woke up Christmas morning, I was feeling much better.

Anyway, Pumpkin did have a good day. She called it the Best Christmas Ever, and while I think she might have been saying that to make us happy, she did get most of the gifts on her list (since we had a little help). And we got enough snow for her to do some sleigh riding, which she always loves. Just seeing her happy and having fun made my Christmas a good one.

I have to go to the doctor later this week, and I’ll talk to him about the mood issues. He’ll probably up the dosage on my mood stabilizer, and I’m okay with that if it works. Things have improved tremendously since I’ve been on it, but a little more stability would be a very good thing.

I would love to have a paperless office. It would make things so much neater and easier to keep clean. After all, paper is notorious for attracting dust, and dust doesn’t like me. At all.

I’ve seen ads on TV and online for document scanning machines and services, and I found them rather interesting. As much as I’d like to spring for it, there’s just no room in my budget for it right now. I’m wondering how feasible it would be to attempt to do it myself.

I have a printer/scanner/copier that I’ve had for years. The printer was malfunctioning the last time I used it, but I did a lot of scanning with it after that and it did fine. But I haven’t had it hooked up at all since we moved in here nearly three years ago, so who knows if it still works or not. Maybe I’ll give it a try tomorrow.

If the scanner does work, I’d then have to come up with some sort of organization system for all the paperwork I’d be digitizing. I’m thinking about putting it all on a portable hard drive and leaving it disconnected from my computer when I’m not using it. That way any personal information wouldn’t be vulnerable to hackers. And of course I’d have to set up a system of folders so that I could quickly find anything I was looking for.

It would be much easier to just let a professional do it, but if I wait until I have the money for that, I’ll be making the call from underneath a mountain of papers. So I’ll probably just jump in and see how it goes.

Hubby isn’t all better, but he’s been feeling well enough to get back to his normal activities around the house and not need me to wait on him hand and foot. He’s even felt up to playing with Pumpkin. All these things have taken some of the pressure off of me. So I thought maybe I would be able to get some things accomplished today. Heh.

First off, I was still pretty dragged out from staying constantly on the go for so long, so I had to take a long nap today. And when I woke up, I had a nagging headache. So after all that sleep, I still ended up lying around for a long time, because the meds I took weren’t putting a dent in it.

Right when I started feeling a little better, the phone rang. It was a former friend of Pumpkin’s, and I had to inform her that Pumpkin was no longer allowed to talk to her on the phone. (Long story, and I don’t really feel like going into all the details right now, but maybe another day.) I hated to do it, but they’re having a lot of trouble getting along, and the girl is starting to be a bad influence, so I felt it was my only option.

A little later, I got a call from the girl’s mother. I wasn’t at all surprised, because I would have done the same thing. But I would have listened to the other side of the story, and I wouldn’t have been all defensive like she was. I would have talked to my daughter about what the other party was saying and tried to get some answers, not blindly assumed that my child was telling the truth (even though I raised her to be honest and I believe that she does very well at it). The conversation didn’t turn into a shouting match or anything, but it didn’t go particularly well. But at least we came to the agreement that the two should just stay away from each other. I hope that’s the way things go from now on.

Of course, the whole turn of events got my nerves pretty rattled. And even though I believe that my consumption of a few alcoholic beverages the past couple of nights might have contributed to my recent tiredness and irritability, I had to drink a couple tonight to calm myself down. I’m out of my anxiety pills, so that’s the only alternative I had. It seems to be helping a bit, though.

Hopefully I’ll be able to get some work done tonight now that I’m feeling somewhat calmer. And it helps that I know that I did the right thing. The whole situation between those girls has gone on way too long, and while I’m a big proponent of letting Pumpkin solve her own problems, she was getting nowhere on her own. I’m truly sorry about any hurt feelings that I caused, but it’s my job to look out for my daughter, and I’m not afraid to do it.

My house has been more or less constantly full for the past couple of weeks. Well, as full as it gets when we don’t have houseguests, anyway. Pumpkin has been out of school the whole time, with the exception of a couple of days. I babysat my nephew while his mother was in the hospital giving birth to his baby sister. And Hubby has been very sick, so I’ve had to take care of him too.

It’s all been rather draining. I’ve had to wait on Hubby hand and foot, because he just hasn’t been able to even get out of bed. I’ve had to do all of his usual chores, including throwing wood on the porch in the freezing cold, taking care of his dogs, and keeping a fire in the basement on the coldest days and nights so that the water wouldn’t freeze. I’ve had to take care of Pumpkin, which isn’t terribly difficult since she can do most things for herself, but I do have to cook for her and try to play with her in between it all so she won’t get bored and lonely. And, of course, I’ve had to get my own writing and housework done.

Some of you Supermoms out there are probably thinking that it’s all in a day’s work. I agree that these things are my responsibility, and I have no problem with that. But between my scatterbrainedness and lack of energy, it’s hard to keep up with it all. I was in the mood to do some serious house cleaning, but that fell by the wayside. And although I’m having a much easier time with my writing lately, I haven’t gotten anything extra done there. But at least I haven’t fallen behind, so that’s a good thing.

This morning I woke up to the phone ringing around 8:00 (having only gotten to bed and to sleep around 3:30). Hubby also woke up, and it was immediately apparent that he was feeling a bit better. He kept talking and talking and talking, and I kept laying there with my eyes closed, grunting agreement, hoping he would take the hint and either shut up or get up. He finally did, and I conked back out until nearly 1:00. At least Pumpkin slept that late, too.

But I still spent most of the day feeling (and looking) like I had gotten no sleep whatsoever. The dragging around, the even greater than usual inability to concentrate, the dark circles under eyes, the whole shebang. I finally took a nap early this evening, and now I feel a little better. I just hope I can get to sleep again before too late, because I’ve got an early morning to look forward to.

At least there’s an end in sight. Hubby continued to feel somewhat better today. He still needs to take it easy for a while I think, but at least maybe he’ll be able to do a little here and there and take care of his own basic needs. They’re calling tomorrow a two-hour delay as of right now, but if we get the sleet they’re calling for tonight, Pumpkin will probably be home the rest of the week. Still, maybe things will calm down at least a little. We’ll see.

I’ve spent a great deal of time in the basement this evening. Not because I wanted to, but because I needed to. We’re at the beginning of another brutal cold snap, and I had to go down there and build a fire since Hubby is sick and needs to stay in and get his rest.

I think this was the first time that I’ve actually been able to get a fire going down there. Hubby gave me some tips, plus I had plenty of kindling and some dry wood to work with, so it wasn’t too bad. I just had to sit down there a while to make sure it wouldn’t go out as soon as I left. It was pretty boring, just me and Tiger (Pumpkin’s cat), sitting down there with nothing but each other and our thoughts.

I did come to one conclusion: that stove makes one of the best dehumidifiers ever. If it’s a little damp down there, all you have to do is get it burning good and it’s dried up in no time. But since building a fire is not an option in the summer, we need to get an actual dehumidifier for the basement.

I finally came back up after about an hour. I went back down there a couple of times to add more wood, but I think I’m done for the night. It’s late, and I want to take a shower. And it’s too freaking cold to have to go in and out with wet hair.

We got our first accumulating snow of the winter over the weekend. It started on Saturday morning, and resulted in the cancellation of Pumpkin’s first basketball game. Despite strong winds, we ended up with 3 or 4 inches before the day was out. It has snowed off and on since then, and it still is.

Hubby and Pumpkin had a ball on Saturday. The had a snowball fight and rode the four-wheeler quite a bit. I was extremely tired for some reason, so I stayed in and slept. I was awoken from my nap by loud Christmas music, and I got up to find that they had brought in the artificial tree and decorations. They had even put the tree together, but I had to redo it because Hubby didn’t pay any attention to the color coding of the branches.

We started decorating the tree, but the only strand of lights we had decided to quit working. So as of right now, it only has tinsel on it. But we bought a new strand yesterday, and we’re going to finish it up today.

Between the snow and the decorating, Pumpkin is now in full Christmas mode. She took the liberty of making us a list of what she wanted, which was helpful, but I told her not to be disappointed if she didn’t get everything on it.

In other news, it has been bitterly cold for the past few days, and is supposed to stay that way for a while. We’ve been keeping a fire in the basement in an effort to keep the water from freezing, and it has worked so far. I’m hoping that our biggest plumbing issue this winter will be deciding which of the kitchen faucets I’ve been looking at to buy, and we won’t have all the water problems we had last year. We shall see.

If you don’t know what Swagbucks is, it’s a search site where you can earn points by doing normal web searches, completing surveys, and doing various other things. Those points can be redeemed for a variety of prizes. I’ve been a member for a while now, and I have earned lots of Amazon gift certificates (my prize of choice) through them. It’s a pretty cool program, so if you’re not a member, I encourage you to sign up.

I have very few complaints about my experience with Swagbucks. One thing that bugged me a little was one of their surveys. You can also earn points by taking those, but there was one in my list that rewarded participants with a chance to win an iPod Touch rather than the usual Swagbucks. Now, I wouldn’t mind having an iPod Touch at all, but if I’m going to spend my precious time completing a survey, I’d rather have a definite reward than a chance at winning something. But maybe that’s just me. Maybe there are plenty of other people who are more than happy to do a survey for a chance to win.

They have introduced some new ways to earn recently, which is cool. The more ways you can earn points, the more points you can earn, right? One way to earn points is by simply watching videos. I haven’t done much of that because it doesn’t seem like the few points you get are worth the time spent, but if you’re bored and have nothing else to do, then why not? They’re also beta testing a new games product where you can play online games and win Swagbucks. I was lucky enough to be chosen as a tester, and although I haven’t earned much from it, I like it. If you play online games anyway, why not work your way toward earning prizes while doing so?

Overall, I think Swagbucks is one of the best reward programs out there. Their customer service department is awesome, and while they do promote some of those programs where you have to complete this offer and that offer and give your email address to potential spammers to qualify (which I really don’t like), you can earn plenty without using those. In fact, there are enough different ways to earn that just about anybody can find a few they like. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: I highly recommend them!

I don’t wear hats every day, or even most of the time. But I don’t consider my wardrobe complete without a couple of them. It’s nice to have something to cover up a bad hair day with.

I’m not really the type to wear womens hats, though. All the ones I have either came from the men’s department or are considered unisex. I have a nice leather cowboy hat that Hubby bought me that I only wear when I’m all gussied up and going somewhere. But for bad hair days, I go with something more casual.

My most frequent hair cover-up is a hat that I bought at American Eagle many years ago, long before I met Hubby. I can’t remember what those kinds of hats are called, but they’re like fishing hats only without the loops that hold the tackle. It’s a big, floppy hat in a sort of faded military green that goes with just about anything. And every time I wear that hat, somebody has something to say about it.

A friend of mine from my hometown used to call it a bean pot. Somebody else (I can’t remember who) called it my acid hat. Hubby laughs at me every time I put it on. And I offered to let his brother borrow it once in the winter to keep his ears warm, and he said he’d rather freeze.

Still, I love that hat. And I don’t care what anybody says, it’s very effective as far as covering up bad hair. So it’s not going anywhere.

When I went to eat with my family for Thanksgiving, I made it a point to give my older sister a hard time about her age. I do it pretty much every year, because her birthday is conveniently close to the holiday. But this time I picked on my brother, too, because he’ll be turning 40 in a couple of months.

I’m several years younger than both of them, but I know I’m not getting any younger, either. Since I hit 30, it seems like everything is just going downhill. Maybe some of it is in my head, but science does back up that notion. I’ve read that thirtysomethings have to contend with, among other things, increased levels of stress hormones and dramatically lower levels of HGH. These things increase the effects of aging, and they make it harder to lose weight.

The only difference I can see in the mirror so far is the occasional gray hair. That drives me batty at times, but at least I haven’t found any fine lines or wrinkles yet. I know it will happen eventually, I’m just not ready for it to happen yet. When it does, I just might have to quit giving my siblings such a hard time.

I’m up late tonight. That hasn’t really been the norm lately, because I got into the habit of trying to fight my natural night owl tendencies and go to bed early with Hubby. But during my bouts of insomnia, that did nothing but make for a hellish night and a rough next day. So I’ve decided that I’m going to start going to bed when I’m good and ready unless I have a compelling reason to do otherwise.

Another thing that’s not quite the norm: I’m not up playing games or reading about the best diet pills for women. I’m actually getting some work done. How about that? The words have started flowing much more freely, and I hope they continue to do so. Now if I can just keep myself focused, maybe, just maybe, I can start making a decent amount of money again. That would be very, very nice.

It’s almost 2:00 AM, so I’ll probably head to bed before long. I’ll get a couple hours of sleep, get up and get Pumpkin off to school, and then go back to bed until around 11:00. That schedule might sound strange to some, but it’s more or less in line with how my body and mind operate these days. Even if I go to bed early and am able to sleep, I usually get so sleepy after Pumpkin gets on the bus that I end up going back to sleep until about the same time. So it looks like the best thing I can do, for both my sanity and my productivity, is quit fighting the way I’m wired and just go with it.