I haven’t been blogging much lately, and it’s been because I’ve been pulled in so many freaking different directions that I’ve forgotten which end is up. And as we all know, blogging upside down is quite difficult. Right?

Anyhoo, I’ve been busting my butt to try to keep certain contracts that offer some semblance of stability, while also trying to keep the clients who offer less stability but regular work happy, and also trying to keep the family happy and the house in something that somewhat resembles order. And (here’s the biggie) trying to keep the finances in order. I realize that I need to take some time out for myself, and I have. But it seems like every time I do, I end up regretting it later because I end up behind schedule on everything else.

I was near the breaking point earlier today. I was working on two different projects, one of which I have to do a certain portion of today, and the other that was due today but I was woefully behind on. Then I got a little bit of bad news about the finances, then a little more, and a little more, until I was just about ready to blow a gasket. Fortunately, by that time, dear Hubby was on his way to the liquor store to pick me up some, shall we say, extra-strength anxiety medication.

I partook, and now I’m much calmer. But I still haven’t figured out how I’m going to get our finances straightened out. I guess I’ll tackle that once all this other work is done. If I worry about it now, there’s no way I’ll even come close to making my deadline.

As always, it could be worse. I could have found out that I need to start looking for some nice comfy maternity clothing. Right now, that would be the icing on the shit cake, for sure. I’ve got enough to deal with, and while babies are adorable and all, I don’t have the time or desire to have one of my own right now. Fortunately I’m taking highly effective precautions against that.

I had considered quitting blogging due to all the other stuff I’ve got going on, but now I’m glad I didn’t. It gives me a place to vent in a way I just can’t with family or the few friends I have. Just bear with me. And if you’d like to commiserate, share your grievances, or whatever in the comments, feel free to do so! It might take me a while to respond, but I promise that I’m there for ya!

I didn’t go out and get a “real” job. I just started keeping close tabs on the amount of time I’m spending on various projects. It started out of necessity for one particular project, but I decided to try it with all of my work. I just started yesterday, but it’s working out nicely so far.

The tool I’m using, which makes all of this super-easy, is Toggl. I’m using the free version, which so far meets my needs just fine, but they also have a paid version with more features.

Why am I doing this, you ask? A couple of reasons. For one, I wanted to see just how many hours of work I’m really getting in each day. Sometimes it seems like all I do is work, yet I don’t get anything done. Others it seems like I get an amazing amount accomplished in no time. Now I can have the numbers right in front of me and know just how long it takes me to do what. Another reason is that I wanted to see how much I’m making per hour. I don’t miss getting paid by the hour at all, but seeing my current income in those terms helps me remember that I’m not missing out by not doing the 9-to-5 thing.

This little experiment seems to be increasing my productivity, because I’ve been staying on task better knowing that the clock is ticking. Or maybe I just happen to be particularly productive right now and the time I’m keeping is reflecting that. We’ll see which is true after I’ve done this for a couple of weeks.

At least I haven’t gotten behind on anything yet. And I’d like to keep it that way. It seems like when I get behind, it takes forever to catch back up. But I’m hopeful that I won’t have to worry about it now that I don’t have constant writer’s block any more. I’ve been using my planner to keep track of deadlines and things I need to do each day, and that’s helped quite a bit.

I’m just so thankful that I’m finally getting back to the point where I can make a decent living from home again. There for a while I thought I might have to take a local job, and I hated the idea of that. Not only would that seriously cramp my freedom and cause transportation dilemmas until I can get my car fixed, but there also just aren’t many jobs to be had around here. Factories have been shutting down like crazy for the past few years, and even healthcare jobs are becoming more scarce. All that’s really left are jobs that barely pay enough to cover the gas it takes to get there and back.

But as I was saying, I’m trying my best to stay on top of things. Fortunately, it hasn’t been as much of a struggle as it once was. Time will tell if I can keep up the momentum I’ve got going, but I’m feeling good about it.

When you make a living online, that’s not the only kind of clutter you end up with. Sometimes you end up involved in too many different projects, and find that you’re spreading yourself too thin. Or you have too many websites and/or domain names that aren’t really serving a useful purpose. I’ve been there. I’m still there, to some extent. But I’m looking to change that.

I’ve already let one domain name go. It’s for a site that I’m not ready to completely scrap, but I think taking it offline for a while might be a good idea. As far as the domain, I’m just not crazy about it. When I get ready to put the site back up, I’ve already got a new domain name in mind. Hopefully it will still be available when I’m ready for it. If I get my hands on a little extra cash, I’ll probably go ahead and register it before I’m ready to use it.

And then I’ve got an entire site that’s just kind of sitting there. I sell a few things on it, but I haven’t made enough money from it to even bother springing for online credit card processing. And since I haven’t had the time to promote it, I’ll probably just let that domain go when it comes time to renew. I’ve tried to sell the site with no luck, and I think it’s time to cut my losses and move on.

I’m debating on whether to let go of another one of my blogs, too. I have a while to think about it, because the domain doesn’t renew until late this year. I’ve thought about doing something different with the domain, but I haven’t decided whether it would be worth my while yet or not.

Now if I could just get as much accomplished with my real-life clutter, I would be doing well.

Hubby has already laid down the law: He says if I don’t take a long weekend this week, he’s disposing of my computer. So I guess I had better follow orders, huh? But then I was planning to do that anyway.

For now I’ve got to work on getting ahead. I’ve got today and tomorrow to get as much as I can done. Maybe I’ll make some headway. The words have been flowing better for the past couple of days, and I would almost just keep on going as long as they keep coming to me. But I know that if I don’t take a break, I’m going to end up in the same boat all over again. And that would be very, very bad. I’ve already decided that if I get as far behind this month as I have been getting, I’m going to go job hunting and give up on writing (at least for now). And I certainly don’t want it to come to that.

Anyway, I just wanted to let those of you who have expressed concern (and by the way, thank you so much) that things are going better now. I’m in a much better frame of mind, and I’m actually feeling fairly optimistic. Here’s hoping that things continue to go well!

Last month was a rough one, but I finally got caught up on my work. I was glad to have done that, and ready to move on and have a better month in October. But I just haven’t been able to get much of anything done. I know I need to, but I just can’t seem to stay on task. I always have trouble paying attention, but it seems to be more than that this time. I just can’t get motivated to make myself get things done.

And of course if I’m having trouble getting my work done, I can’t really justify doing much blogging. Even if I could justify it, I really haven’t had anything in my head to blog about. And that’s why I haven’t posted an update in almost two weeks.

Maybe I’m getting depressed again, I dunno. But if that is the problem, I’m just going to have to deal with it for now. There’s no way I can afford to get on medication again. I’m thinking about trying some herbs and seeing if they help. I guess it’s worth a shot.

I hope I can get through this without getting behind again. That would probably be enough to get me to give up on freelancing, and that’s the last thing I want to do.

I had to take time out yesterday for Pumpkin’s birthday party. It wasn’t anything extravagant, and not many kids showed up. But everybody had a good time. Pumpkin went to spend the night with hubby’s great-aunt, but we ended up going to pick her up around 10:00 because she was homesick. Well, that’s what she said. I think it might have had something to do with wanting to play with her new toys. Just a hunch.

But now it’s back to work. Once I get all this done and don’t have to be so rushed, I won’t know what to do with myself. I’ll figure something out, though. I’m definitely going to take a day off and do something I want to do as soon as practicable. And then maybe I’ll seek out some free SEO tools and get to work optimizing my portfolio site. And after that, I’m sure I’ll think of something else.

It’s going to feel so good not to be under so much pressure. I just hope I can keep it that way.

I managed to get a couple of things done on the old machine this morning, and in the meantime I ran virus and malware scans on the new one. Both found nothing. I had installed Firefox on my old machine and downloaded Open Office so I could get some work done on it, but then I decided to try the new one again because it’s so much faster. That time, I connected with no problem. Strange.

I don’t know what’s going on here, but it’s driving me nuts. It wouldn’t be such a big deal if I were just using my Internet to compare acne products, but I need it to work so I can make a living. I guess I’ll try to get caught up on my work, and then do some more searching online to see if I can find out what the problem might be. Maybe I’ll see if someone at one of those tech forums can help me. And if all else fails, maybe I’ll contact the computer manufacturer.

If there are any computer whizzes out there who have any ideas, a comment would be much appreciated. I’d be happy to link to a site or do some writing for anybody who can help me get this straightened out.

First there was the whole Mom-in-the-hospital thing. I went to see her on Sunday, but didn’t really have anything planned for that day. But her procedure was on Monday, and I spent most of the day worrying about that until they called and let me know all was well and that she would be going home on Tuesday. I felt better, and thought maybe things would get back to normal. If only.

Tuesday Hubby came home from work to go to the doctor. He slept until it was time to go, so I did get a little done that morning. But once he went in, it was all over but the crying. Turns out he had MRSA, and as you probably know, that’s some pretty serious stuff. I wasn’t too worried myself, because he’s been keeping the boils clean and covered at all times and the doctor seemed confident that the two rounds of antibiotics and ointment she put him on would take care of it. But he absolutely freaked out. I spent the rest of the day and that evening listening to him mull over every aspect of it, wondering where he got it (from work we think), obsessing over possibly giving it to Pumpkin and I (no signs so far), and on and on and on. Not to mention all the soaking and cleaning and application of ointment and bandaging, and the segregation of the laundry, spraying of Lysol and all that fun stuff.

The doctor said it was fine to go to work on Wednesday, as long as he kept everything clean and covered. But Pumpkin was sick that day, so I didn’t get much done then either. I took her to the doctor because she was complaining with her stomach and throat, and my first thought was strep. She tested her for it, and it came up negative, so she did a test for a different type of it that had to be sent off. But she said she was really just being cautious since she had a history of it, and she thought it was just a mild virus. I think she was right, because she’s doing fine today.

Today I got up thinking maybe, just maybe I would get something done. I have writing work to do, but there’s also a ton of housework piled up thanks to all of these disruptions. Dishes, messy living room, disinfection of everything and all that good stuff. Unfortunately, I can’t do most of it. Why? Because the water decided to quit running this morning. I’m pretty sure that there is air in the line, because we’ve been having pressure problems for a week or so. But I don’t know how to fix it. Hubby said he would take care of it when he got home, but that doesn’t help me right now. I can’t wash a dish, or clean the bathroom, or even take a shower. Arghh!

I also haven’t been able to do much laundry this week. It has rained almost incessantly, so I can’t hang anything out and still don’t have my dryer hooked up. I washed two loads and took them to the laundrymat after I took Pumpkin to the doctor yesterday, so hopefully that will get us through for a few days.It’s not raining right now, but they’re calling for it later on, and besides that the basement is very wet and muddy thanks to the leakage that Hubby hasn’t gotten around to fixing yet. So I’m not particularly inclined to trek down there to wash a load of clothes that may or may not get dry.

Edited on 5/8 to add: I just realized how dumb that last paragraph was. Actually I thought about it late last night, and had to come back and look to make sure I wrote something that stupid. You can’t wash clothes with no water! Not gonna delete it though, I’ll leave it up for everyone’s amusement.

I’m determined to get something done today. I’m not sure how far that determination will get me, because I’ve got so much on my mind, but hopefully I’ll get at least a little mileage out of it.

Today was the exception. I got up ready to get some stuff done, and after I put Pumpkin on the bus and ate breakfast, I made my list. I included even the most mundane stuff, such as removing my fingernail polish. I was so pleased with myself.

Unfortunately, removing my nail polish was the only thing I got done before I heard someone at the door. It was Hubby. He has two mysterious, um, things on him, one on his arm and the other on his side. They looked like boils to us, and we’ve been putting ointment and band-aids on them and trying to squeeze out the gunk for several days now. I’ll spare you the gruesome details, but he got the one on his arm all cleared out this morning. The one on his side is still pretty bad, but it appears to be ready to drain any time.

Anyway, he got to work this morning, and his supervisor and coworkers said it could be something else and talked him into going to the doctor. But our doctor doesn’t come in until 1:00 (which he forgot), so he’s going to be hanging out here until then. So much for getting anything on my list done. He’s laying down now, but when he gets up he won’t let me concentrate unless he finds something to do himself. And then I’ll have to go to the doc with him to get some paperwork taken care of so we can hopefully get a discount.

I might as well just go back to perusing upcoming Charlotte events. It doesn’t look like today is going to be a very productive day anyway.