My mother is in hot water. I recently had a birthday, and she sent me a card. It wasn’t the card I objected to, but what was in it: a $20 bill.
A few months ago, we discussed the fact that she’s on a fixed income and can’t afford to spend money on gifts for me and my siblings any more. I told her that I completely understood, and I still loved her just as much whether I got any Christmas or birthday gifts from her or not.
Well, Christmas came along, and she changed her mind. She said she couldn’t bear the thought of not buying her kids, grandkids and kids-in-law something. I fussed on her, but it didn’t do any good.
So I should have known that she would change her mind on the whole birthday thing, too. I kind of had a feeling, but I was hoping that she would send a check like she usually does. Then I could just refuse to cash it. But no, she had to go and send cash.
I called her after I received it and told her she was in big trouble. And once again, she said she just couldn’t bear the thought of not giving me anything. Never mind that she has doctor bills and house and car insurance and a Medicare plan and all that to pay for. It’s like she thinks there’s something morally wrong with not giving her loved ones gifts on special occasions.
I wish I could talk some sense into her, but the woman is extremely stubborn. But I’ll find some way to pay her back, whether she knows it or not. I’m sneaky like that.
When I went to eat with my family for Thanksgiving, I made it a point to give my older sister a hard time about her age. I do it pretty much every year, because her birthday is conveniently close to the holiday. But this time I picked on my brother, too, because he’ll be turning 40 in a couple of months.
I’m several years younger than both of them, but I know I’m not getting any younger, either. Since I hit 30, it seems like everything is just going downhill. Maybe some of it is in my head, but science does back up that notion. I’ve read that thirtysomethings have to contend with, among other things, increased levels of stress hormones and dramatically lower levels of HGH. These things increase the effects of aging, and they make it harder to lose weight.
The only difference I can see in the mirror so far is the occasional gray hair. That drives me batty at times, but at least I haven’t found any fine lines or wrinkles yet. I know it will happen eventually, I’m just not ready for it to happen yet. When it does, I just might have to quit giving my siblings such a hard time.
While Pumpkin and I were running around town trying to get various stuff done, Hubby and his friend sat around at Hubby’s parents’ place. His parents, one of his brothers and his grandfather officially live there, but there’s almost always more of the family around. Lately that has included my absolutely, without a doubt, least favorite person in their family: My second-oldest brother-in-law.
He is on disability due to mental issues, and I think they made a good call there. But I think a better call would have been to put him in an institution. Being free to come and go as he pleases is just not a good thing for him. He’s been in jail on several occasions, and he’s always causing or ending up in the middle of some kind of trouble. And have I mentioned that he’s extremely annoying?
When I dropped Hubby and friend off over there today and saw that particular brother-in-law with a big toothless grin on his face, lighting up one of the world’s biggest cigars, I was glad that I wasn’t expected to stick around. He’s constantly flirting, and even though he appears to be scared enough of me that he doesn’t take it far enough to really piss me off, it’s annoying. As a matter of fact, there are very few things that he does that I don’t find annoying.
When I got back to the in-laws’ house to pick up Hubby and his friend, they were both ready to get out of there. The friend said that Hubby’s father leaned over toward him when brother-in-law was being particularly obnoxious and whispered, “That boy ain’t right!” And when your own father says that, there’s got to be some truth to it.
Yet another reason why I try to keep my visits with the in-laws to a minimum.
Some of my inlaws are okay. Most of them are not. Hubby’s eldest brother is among my least favorite. He’s a drunk, and when he goes on a major bender, he somehow ends up here half the time. Hubby won’t turn him away, because he helps us out with stuff around the house when he can, so we end up babysitting him. Not fun.
Tonight is one of those nights, and I think he’s expecting to stay until the weekend. I’ve thought about subtly mentioning that it might be a good idea for him to check into some cheap term life insurance, but I’m sure that would be totally lost on him.
I just hope he goes away, and soon. It’s not that he causes trouble or anything, it’s just a pain having him here.
Hubby went to the chiropractor on Friday, and he was in serious pain for the rest of the day. We had planned to go up and spend the night at my mom’s house, and have a get-together with my brother and his family on Saturday. But since he was in such bad shape, I told him I would stay home with him that evening and Pumpkin and I would go up on Saturday morning.
He waffled back and forth over whether he was able to go, and finally decided he wasn’t. Then Pumpkin got home from school and was upset that we wouldn’t be going that night, and Hubby said it wouldn’t be right not to take her. That caused quite a ruckus, and I won’t go on and on about the details, but we grudgingly came to a compromise that he would come with us that evening.
Well, he was in pain all weekend. But he can’t say I didn’t offer to stay home and look after him, nor that I didn’t warn him that the ride up there wouldn’t be good for him. Still, it didn’t turn out all bad. Hubby, Pumpkin and I had some of Mom’s famous homemade chicken tenders for supper on Friday, and I provided delicious DiGiorno pizza and breadsticks courtesy of House Party for lunch on Saturday. Once he felt up to it, Hubby went for a walk in the woods and found a bunch of old glass bottles that Mom said he could take and keep, sell or whatever. And perhaps best of all, Pumpkin got to play with one of her favorite cousins for a good long while.
With my DiGiorno party kit, I got a very nice apron. I put it on when it came time to cook (protective clothing is something I definitely need when I step into the kitchen), and Mom asked if I could make her a pattern out of it. I told her I had no idea how to do that, but that I would let her have it when I was done cooking and she could use it or make patterns with it or whatever. I’ve already got one apron from my Oscar Meyer House Party, so I figured it wouldn’t hurt to let her keep that one if she wanted to.
By the time we got home Saturday evening, we were worn out. But we all had a good time. And hopefully Hubby learned a valuable lesson: Wifey always knows best!
I had a birthday recently, and my brother and sister both called to ask me if I felt any older. I told them I didn’t, and really, I don’t. I already felt old, but that specific day didn’t make me feel any more so than I already did.
The only thing that does seem to make me feel older than I should is thinking about my oldest nieces being in college already. My sister had her first daughter when I was 11, though, so I became an aunt much earlier than most people do. Besides, my sis is 10 years older than I am.
Both of her oldest girls have good heads on their shoulders, and I think they will go far in life. I know they’re adults now, but I just don’t even want to think about them having kids. That would make me a great-aunt, and I’m definitely not ready for that. I hope they don’t have kids until I’ve got enough money to buy them lots of expensive stuff for their baby showers, like designer baby clothes and Bob revolution strollers. And heaven knows that won’t be any time soon, unless of course Hubby wins the Powerball jackpot.
I’ve really got to stop thinking about such things. Now I am starting to feel old.
I got a phone call this morning that I’ve been expecting for some time, but dreading nonetheless. My mom called to let me know that her brother, my uncle, had passed on.
Uncle Don was a really awesome person. I feel like I missed a lot by not getting to be around him more than I did. He lived kind of far off, so I only got to see him every few years when I was growing up. The last time I saw him was probably 6 years or so ago.
He found out that he had cancer a couple of years ago. My mom started going up to see him fairly often, and I planned to go with her sometime. But she started staying a week or two at a time when she went, and I couldn’t do that. So I didn’t get to see him the whole time he was sick.
Even though I didn’t get to see him much, I’ll still miss him. But at least he’s not suffering any more.
My brother and his wife set out on a plane today. This time they’re not enjoying one of those lavish Miami vacation packages, though. They were headed to Philadelphia so she could be treated for melanoma of the eye.
The last time I went to see my mom, my brother mentioned that she was having problems with one of her eyes. She was going to a doctor in Charlottesville, so I knew it was something out of the ordinary, but they hadn’t determined what yet. Then last week my mom called and told me what they had found. I always thought melanoma was always on the skin, but apparently not.
From what I understand, they’re attaching some sort of radiation device to her eye, which she has to wear for a few days. Then she will get to come home, but she’ll have to go back for checkups every few months for a while. If all goes well with that, she should be able to see a doctor that’s not so far away for periodic checkups after that.
I really hope everything goes well for her. Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers, and I’ll post updates as I get them.
I got good news from the Mom yesterday. My sister called and told me that she had just gotten back from her catheterization, and it went well. They cleared one blockage and said everything else could be resolved with medication. And then she asked me if I wanted to talk to Mom.
You could’ve knocked me over with a feather! I had no idea that she would be coherent enough to talk on the phone after that. But she was awake during the whole thing, and even got to watch it on a monitor. Ain’t modern medical technology grand?
More good news: She is supposed to be coming home today. I was so glad to hear that. From what I saw during my brief visit they were taking good care of her at the hospital, but there’s truly no place like home.
I’m glad that’s all over with. I don’t know if she’s on any restrictions or anything, but at least she will be at home where she can rest well and be with her beloved dog. And I can rest easy not having to worry about her having to have a bypass.
I got a message from my sister yesterday morning. Actually she left it on the machine Saturday night, but I didn’t retrieve it until then. I called to see what she wanted, and she informed me that our mom was in the hospital.
She quickly told me not to worry. Apparently Mom had been having pains in her shoulder, and my brother convinced her to go to the emergency room. They ran some tests and then sent her on to another hospital for admission. She had a heart attack when Pumpkin was a baby, so they either found something of possible concern or wanted to be cautious.
I went to see her yesterday. She looks good and was in good spirits. They’re doing a catheterization today to check out her arteries and break up clots if necessary, and will find out if any further action needs to be taken.
I hope all goes well and she gets to go home soon. The prognosis is good, but she’s my mom and I worry about her.
